Help Arrives!

Hallelujah! I previously mentioned that a group might be coming to the house to help clear stuff out. Well, indeed they did! My mom has been attending the nearby Crosspoint Church . They encourage missions globally and locally. My mom mustered up the ability to ask for help when they mentioned they were there to help families/friends of the church and they worked it out. This past rainy Saturday at 8:30 in the morning, as part of their #ServingSaturday program, a team of around 20 or so people showed up at our house.


My mom (and myself, to some degree) was rather nervous about the arrival of the team. She's known she needs to get things cleared out, but trying to prepare herself to face it head-on, especially with so many unfamiliar faces, was daunting. The team was So very friendly and eager to help. They all donned gloves and protective masks and went to work taking trash, boxes, and random relics of our past to their designated places outside of the garage. The church had organized it so that a Goodwill truck was there at the start and a dumpster truck arrived at the finish.

My Mom chose to have the crew focus on the garage. My cousin planned to come a few hours later and start helping me with the basement, we thought we would cover more ground that way. Unfortunately, the Goodwill truck was parked at the top of our driveway, so my cousin wasn't able to make it to our house. She wasn't even able to call my cell because I dropped it in a glass of water Friday night. (The second time I've done this in just a couple of months! The phone is currently drying out in a bowl of rice. We'll see if this works.) It's just as well though, I suppose, because I don't know how much gusto I would have for my cousin after working through all the garage stuff.

So some things were easier to part with than others. My mom did fairly well. There were, however, several times she would look at me, almost hopeless, and say, "Tell them 'thank you, I love you, go home.'" After hearing the questions "What about this?" "Where does this go?" My mom began passing the role of answer-person off to me. She was pretty passive on a large amount of items, but some of her stances surprised me. "Don't get rid of denim! Any denim." Okay? Yeah, I'm pretty sure there was a big storage tub of denim that got donated. But never fear, I think there were at least two more where that came from. Her Children's Church supplies were also another tricky set of boxes. She was happy to entertain the thought of passing them along to someone who would find good use for her props and object lessons. (The woman was a Sunday School teacher and Children's pastor my entire non-adult life.) Sadly, we had noticed the Goodwill truck considered much of our would be donations to be trash. While I don't want to encourage hoarding box after box, I hope we held on to those ministry boxes so my mom can share them with someone who could surely find good use for them.

Garage finds: yesteryear's church prop,
this year's Halloween prop.

As the crew's diligence persisted, I looked through the open garage doors. Most of the piles had been cleared out and I could see to the driveway. I saw something that stung me, something of my own. I hadn't seen when it was put out there. I only noticed it once it was already soaked. I debated whether or not to pick it up. I walked into the rain, lifted it off the pile and winced. It was my cardboard Larry Bird basketball backboard. I think "if I take this back and dry it off, they'll look at me the same way they must be looking at my mom." I put it back on the pile and walked over to my mom to direct her attention to it. I started to walk towards it at least one more time, but I tell myself no and try to disguise my embarrassing teary eyes with the rain. See, while the helper sees an old piece of cardboard with the image of a ball player they probably don't recognize, I see the very happy, decades old memory of an uncomplicated Christmas with both of my parents spoiling their only daughter with a toy from one of my dad's favorite teams.

As I was standing by my mom, she seemed to be grappling her own let-it-go dilemma. Another kids' church box had been opened and she wanted to take just one item from it. It was a wooden box like thing with hearts on either side, one side of which is broken. I tried to convince her to let it go. I never understood its purpose as an object lesson. I couldn't see its use. And to top it off, it was broken. Never the less, my mom sat there clutching her broken heart box, determined not to let it go. The irony was not lost on her, she appeared to be laughing at her own tragedy.

All in all, it was a successful morning. My mom and I spoke with a couple of the people who helped out. Rita and Shawna were so kind and understanding. Anthony, who I'm assuming was one of the group leaders, would not allow the task to be left uncompleted. He seemed sincerely eager to help get things livable and mentioned planning another Saturday to continue the job. A place like this can get a lot of unpleasant responses, but I didn't feel any judgement. I even heard one of the helpers say he wanted to check with my mom about a rejected piece of furniture before it was thrown out. When we tried to express our thanks, they responded by thanking us. While it could have been a convincing act, I really believe they were sincere. James wrote that undefiled, true religion is to help the widowed and the fatherless. While I am neither, I believe it also applies towards helping a somewhat feeble, middle-aged woman, with a task too big to tackle alone. And there is one of those in this home, to be sure.

My mom and I don't know how to properly express our thanks to the team, but we're certainly grateful for the help to get this project moving. And I hope to keep the ball rolling. I have taken this week off to clean up and clear out the basement.

Hopeful Planning

Spring cleaning. Who thought of that idea? I've read that its origins go back to preparation for various cultures' new years. From the Persian's "house-shaking" to the Jews readying for the Passover, everyone cleans up from top to bottom. It's a lovely thought, really. I wish I had pictures as examples of what it means to me and our home. Unfortunately, the hoardy-hole is still pretty much as full as ever.

There is hope, however.
My mom did not get either of the jobs I previously mentioned that she interviewed for. We were kind of disappointed about one of them in particular- the interview went great, good rapport with the employer, and some good benefits- but it just didn't work out. Since then, my mom has applied and twice interviewed for another position. It's not exactly her first pick, but she feels fairly confident about it. We shall see how it works out. If it doesn't pan out, there's more out there where that came from.

We are also hopeful about having the help of a crew getting a large amount of stuff cleared out of the basement. I believe some people have offered to pitch in. So I'll provide some masks if you can provide the muscle! I say that not because of some unbearable stench, but because of the water damage. The ventilation duct work isn't sealed properly or something. This has caused the condensation to wreak havoc on the ceiling. The kitchen looks like the ceiling is about to fall in. Of course, before we can remove all of the damaged drywall and make repairs, we have to clear out the space. If we can get a crew to lend a hand, I'm planning on taking a couple of days off from work to join in.

It would be So great to have the downstairs clean! The space used to be rented out as an apartment. With my mom's current financial status being in a sort of limbo, it would be good to have that as an option again. And growing up, I always imagined I'd eventually have the space for myself. I'm trying to make some plans for my own future endeavors, and it would be nice to be able to have that space open and usable to possibly rent myself. As it is now, my mother and I butt heads more often than is preferred. We share a large space with each other, we just also happen to begrudgingly share it with a whole lot of stuff.

Alas, hope springs eternal. The local Catholic church is taking donations this weekend for their annual yard sale. We used to enjoy the shopping, but hopefully this year we can enjoy purging for our benefit and theirs.

Money Saved Money Earned

It's been a few weeks since the last post. I wish I had pictures of clean rooms to share, but that post is still a ways off. I have been rather preoccupied with school work the past few weeks, so I've been obligated to spend free time with my studies. Not much has been cleaned out, but not much has come in either. So, let's keep a positive spin on this, shall we? I mean, this house has seen many an overflowing Easter basket, but no so much this year. Calling out progress where I see it. :)

I previously mentioned that my mom is not employed, but that she is actively job hunting. Well, she has had two job interviews in the last two and a half weeks! She was pretty nervous in the first interview. I don't think it went as well as she would have liked, but it was very good to get back out there. A few days after that interview, she got a call about another position she had applied for. The first place she interviewed didn't work out. We're still hopeful about this second place though. They say not to count your chickens before they hatch. Well, we don't have any chickens. (We've spotted rabbits, mice, a toad, a lizard, and a snake!, but no chickens.) That hasn't stopped me from dreaming about the basement being finished and having a big swimming pool in the back yard and inviting all our friends out to celebrate. Unfortunately, as soon as I wake up from that dream I remember that we're still at the beginning of this project and that party will have to wait. But ya gotta keep the dream alive, right? The people perish for lack of vision, so I'll hold on to that sight in my mind so we don't fizzle out.

In more productive news, my mom learned how to ride a Deere! My dad always used the tractor to mow the lawn. Since he's not here, my mom has hired someone else to do it. A friend of ours did the job last summer. He does good work- and it's a Lot of grass to cut. It just didn't seem fiscally responsible to spend the necessary money to have it done, especially since we have the equipment here. Cue my helpful uncle, once again. He came over and helped get the mower back up to snuff. He also gave my mom and I a little driving lesson.
(Later that same day, we got a little more excitement. When he and my aunt were about to leave, the phone rang. My aunt called us from outside, shrieking that my uncle was fighting off a snake! "He's Huge!" she yelped. Well, my uncle eventually slayed the not-so-fierce dragon and they went on their way, unscathed.)

Who needs a weed whacker?!

I think she's having fun.

The grass finally got cut this weekend. My dad came over and got the job off to a good start. Before I knew it, he was showing my mom a couple of things on the tractor and I was running off to get a picture of her cruising right along-blade going and all! We lost a floor mat from the sidewalk and a tarp during her first endeavor, but we'll consider the casualties an acceptable loss for the day's accomplishment. So, while my mom doesn't yet have a paycheck coming in, she's cutting back on what's going out, and really praying that a good job opens up soon.
I think things are moving in the right direction. 

This is Lemmy under a mat on the sidewalk.
No Lemmys were harmed in the
 lawn mowing of April 2012.

Delay

Apologies for the lack of updates as of late. Unfortunately, there's not really been much progress to report. Aside from a few more donations to Goodwill, most of the house is as it was in the last post. I'm wrapping up the last couple of weeks of the school semester and am hopeful that my mom and I can get back to business once that's over. I look forward to having optimistic news to share soon. :)

Mighty Mouse vs. the Kitchen

I've moved a few times the past couple of years. I took off a couple of days a couple of weeks ago to move and to help get the cleaning process started here at home. Oy, did we have a full day in store for us.

I took Friday off with the goal of cleaning out the upstairs and downstairs kitchens. We got off to a late start, but my mom and I managed to finally get it together enough to start upstairs.

One shelf down!

We started by emptying out a ply board pantry that had mostly boxed food/mixes and some baking pans. We had to throw all of the food away because of the rodent problem. We filled up a huge trash can just with that pantry. I also encouraged my mom (With minimal argument except- "It's a jar." "It's an antique... jar!" "It's a Jar.") to donate as much as possible that was in good enough condition to give. We filled up a container the size of the back seat of her car with those items.

Cabinet cleared off and out!

Downside to clearing the clutter?
You can see the wallpaper...

After we cleared the pantry, we took a break and dropped the box off at the Goodwill donation site. It is conveniently located just down the road. We got a bite to eat and went back to work.




There was a bag full of papers with old phone books, pages and pages of contact information, and even our old Rolodex. Clearing that out started to get a bit daunting and then my mom made a comment. "What would you do with it if I were gone?" I felt like that showed a lot of clarity concerning our situation. Without trying to be morbid, there have been times when I've thought about how the difficulty of one day losing her would be even more overwhelming knowing I'd be left with all of this stuff. With that in mind, she gave me licence to discard just about every paper I was sifting through. I had to pause, however, when I came across a graduation card written to me from my grandmother. At first I thought it was one of the last things she had ever given me (we lost her later that year), but when I looked at the envelope, I saw notes names of friends I had made that year including notes with their moms' names. The bills inside the card (yes, I managed to score ten bucks!) were from the late 80s. This card, with money intact, had been around since my kindergarten graduation! I got a little misty eyed, then got back to work.

We began clearing out the drawers and the bottom cabinets. We've not been able to use them because of the pest issue. The counters have gotten cluttered because we don't want to put anything down where the mice are. Cue the mask request.

These things were Filthy. Every drawer. Every cabinet. Truly repulsive. I don't remember how many trash bags we filled. At one point, I was tossing out big plastic jars of protein powder. We had been fostering mighty mutant mice with protein powder! Even though realistically it was pretty disturbing, I found that visual rather amusing. Anyways, there was a bit of a battle back and forth in deciding what pots were usable, give-able, or just needed to be trashed. There were a few times I offered to buy a really nice new cookware set if my mom would just toss it all. We came to a decent compromise, and will be sanitizing things soon.

We found an old library card of the girl
that lived her over 20 years ago!

Emptied and ready to be scrubbed!

So that's pretty much where we left off, the basement waits for another day. My mom scrubbed down the emptied cabinets and drawers and the room is already so much cleaner. Unfortunately, we can't put stuff in its clean and proper place because we think there's still a rodent among us. I'm afraid we won't be able to really get rid of that problem until we clean out the basement. I really think that the job we did in the kitchen is the hardest part-for the upstairs. But to look around, it almost feels like we're still at square one. But I know this is not really the case.

Thank you Mr. Trash man!

A big sign of progress already is that we were able to have someone fix some plumbing problems we were having. My wonderful uncle came over and fixed the all the faucets in the kitchen and the bathroom. I also noticed that at least one friend of my mom has offered (with expectancy) to help clean the house. Thank You! As my dad tells me, this mess didn't happen over night and it won't be fixed over night. And we're moving forward. I've also made a couple of  Mark sales. Thanks so much to you, too!.

Stay tuned for more updates. And any ideas or suggestions on how to make this project a success are welcome!

Once the Golden Girls are singing a
lullaby, it's time for bed.

Welcome to the Project!

So, here we are- the beginning of Project Help a Hoarder.
Most likely if you're visiting this site, you know me. And if you've known me for very long, there's a good chance you've met my mom and you probably have an idea about what this blog is about.

However, if none of that is accurate, or you just have a minute to kill, let me tell you about this project.
My mom has never been one to do things on a minimal scale. Whether she's talking, shopping, etc, she has had the tendency to overdo. So, as you can imagine, being compelled to shop (most frequently for gifts, or something that just reminded her of someone) has lead us to where she is now. Spend a little time watching one of those TV shows about hoarded homes, scale it back from towers of papers and deceased pets, and you have a pretty good idea of the condition of her house. To be fair, it's not all hers. There's things that belong to my dad, myself (as I have moved back home), and even items we just call "Frank's stuff" from when she helped clean out the home of an elderly friend of the family.

The past few years have been a bit tumultuous for the family. I'm sure many of you could say the same for your own. But now that some of the dust has settled, I want to take the opportunity to help my mom with this. She's been working on making herself well in her body and spirit, and it only makes sense to me that having a clean and peaceful home would help her with that process.

I'm not trying to make my mom out to be any sort of martyr. She has the same sorts of hang-ups as the rest of us. Goodness knows she and I butt heads plenty. But when you look past the mess and at her life, you can't help but see all the good she's done for other people. Years of devotion to the kids in Children's Church. Decades as a Registered Nurse. Countless hours and dollars spent any time she saw a need-be it of a friend or a stranger- she felt she could help meet. There's a good chance that if you know her, she's given you some sort of encouragement or help as you've crossed paths.

It's time she get back to enjoying the life she's been blessed with so she can get back to helping others.  Like I said earlier, the house is not in its best condition. There's not really a room in the place that hasn't been overrun with clutter. Beyond the obvious messiness, there's also been a pest problem and mold issues. We can't really address the mold and repair needs until we can actually access their locations. So, the first step is to clean house. However, this is a major job, too big of a job for an arthritic woman who is trying to work on her emotional fortitude. We have considered hiring a professional organizer, one who works with hoarders. I really think this could be a good idea, except that they do not come cheap. My mom is actively job hunting, but as she's currently on a fixed income, she has to be thrifty with her investments. And, of course, once the miracle of the clean house happens, we'll have to cover the cost of whatever repairs that need to be made. That's where me and you fine people come in.

Thus, it all boils down to me starting this blog so I can pedal cash from whoever will offer it. ;)
Actually, while I do intend on having a support button attached to this blog, I'm hoping to be able to offer goods and/or my own handiwork in exchange for support. The first way I've set up is selling cosmetics. Yes,  that's right. I am an independent sales rep for Mark, a division of Avon. Whenever you make a purchase from aforte.mymarkstore.com  , you support the cause.[Update: mark. has made some changes and I am not currently a representative.]
It's always good when good things happen to good people. I think my mom is "good people" and I'm sure you'd agree. Thank you so much for your time. Check back often to see the progress and find out how to show your support.